So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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