Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
