he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize