He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize