he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You're breaking my sexual little heart
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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