this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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