you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
