Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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