I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
