You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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