Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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