i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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