ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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