My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize