Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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