I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize