I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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