You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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