When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize