She is in my trunk
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
