so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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