He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
