your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
