Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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