and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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