I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
