The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
