i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
