I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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