Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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