okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
