My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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