my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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