Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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