Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
