Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize