There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
