I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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