so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
