i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
