apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize