I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
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I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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