"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
