So drunk its hurt
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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