Can Purell be used as lube?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
