I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
