We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
