So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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