please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?