I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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