I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
love makes seman taste better
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.