he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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