I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
