I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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