Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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