we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
