I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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