she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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