Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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