that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
