im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
