Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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